Megan and I picked up Ripley's ashes from the vet last night. We also got a paw print that you could tell was Ripley because of a rough spot she always had on one of her pads. Getting the ashes adds a level of reality to this that I don't think I was prepared for. In my logical mind I know Ripley is gone. I held her head in my hands as she closed her eyes for the last time. But yet I still, in my heart, was hoping that the dog door would just flip open one night and she would click, click, click back into the room and jump on the bed for one last cuddle.
Posted by jherr at June 8, 2004 09:14 AMI'm sorry for your loss. I know you & Lori loved her.
Posted by: Jacqueline at June 8, 2004 11:11 AMJacqueline, would you like your own blog? I can set that up pretty quickly. I will host it for you for free. I like that you have an impassioned voice and I think it would make for interesting reading. No jokes, no gimmicks, I'm straight up and on the level.
Posted by: Jack Herrington at June 8, 2004 01:27 PMCan I still argue with you? :)
Posted by: Jacqueline at June 8, 2004 02:31 PMOf course. But it's up to you to come up with a theme for your blog.
Posted by: Jack Herrington at June 8, 2004 06:36 PMOkay. Well as long as you're not trying to send me off into obscurity . . . sign me up!
Posted by: Jacqueline at June 9, 2004 02:36 PMAlright, but you have to come up with a theme for the blog. And some ideas about the images you want on it (that complement the theme.)
Posted by: Jack Herrington at June 9, 2004 04:50 PMJack - sorry for your sorrowful loss. I know you were a great dad/owner with all your passion and compassion.
If it helps I will give you some of my personal experience. My pets were Labradors, but we lived by a major highway all my life and so many of them met their demise tragically. The last dog I had, a family pet with my children, we put to sleep. I was the bad guy who had to be there for no one had the stomach to see it happen. I watched "Maggie" be put to sleep, and even though it was so sad then, I also feel blessed that i was there for her last breath. I so hope it was painless as they say, but as I look back, I am glad that I was there when she left our world. My other favorites that died on the road, I was not there to hold them an those memories hurt me more than those of Maggie. We buried her in our family cemetery. Later, in 1996, I held the hand of my grandmother Maggie as she took her last breath and I feel blessed to have been there as well though beforehand I would never have dreamed something so sad could actually be so comforting.
I know it is hard on you now for it is so soon after Ripley's passing, but I would say later on your memories of her ashes and passing will actually be pleasant thoughts and you did it a heartwarming way from what I have been able to read.
Your radical new friend!
Brett
Yeah. I hear yah.
Sometimes I think it would be easier if I had religion to fall back on. To believe that Ripley is in some better place. I've never been able to think that way. But sometimes I think it would be easier.
I know that the doctors recommended this and I'm sure they were right. But there is always that nagging feeling that I could have done more for her. Which is something I could probably take to a confessional and be done with. ;-)
Oh, well. Thanks for your thoughts. I think it's toughest on those that have to be in the room and to see the lights go out on a dog's eyes, or on a person's eyes.
I think I've just seen too much death in the last couple of years. Losing Jay was really tough. Losing Lori's mom was tough, mostly on Lori, but I loved her too and I miss her. Then losing Culum soon after that was pretty rugged, since he was a great dog that deserved every bit of the good life he got after being abused in his early years. Then losing Ripley recently was like losing half of my soul. There is just this huge empty void in the pit of my heart that I know will never be filled again. Everyone she knew said she was special and she really was.
Anyway, don't know where I am going with this. I can just hear the hum of the keys under my fingers and I think I'll just hit Post.
Posted by: Jack Herrington at June 16, 2004 06:15 PMThanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)
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