I woke up this morning really out of sorts. Not in the conventional sick way, more in just a strong sense of unease. It's the same kind of feeling I get when I'm in the slide of a big weight loss, like every day my body wakes up different and part of my time is just spent in adjusting to the new frame. But since I'm done with weight loss, what am I changing into? And the answer is somewhat answered by my changeover from vegetarianism.
When I was a vegetarian I was limited in just how much I could work out. I could go about an hour before I needed to stop. And that really limits the type of activities I could get into. 5K ok, 10K not really. 25K bike ok, 50K not so much. Etc. But now, I could run a marathon. I could run a 100 mile ultra. I could do a 100 mile bike ride. So the question is now, what to do? Should I run the New York Marathon as a last hoorah for my Mom. One last time to drag half her genes across the finish line?
I think I'm on the border line between being fit and being an athlete. And that's what I feel when I have that unease. I have that feeling like I'm at a crossroads and it's time for a decision on which way to go.
These are the kinds of things that occur to me when I'm running the last leg of triathlon... what the fuck am I doing here? It's not about the fitness. Hell, if I just wanted to be fit I could put an hour in on the elliptical per day.
Being fit is like being a passenger on the airplane. In some ways you can just sit in the back of your eyes and let the time slide by as a pounds roll off. Being an athlete is like getting into the pilot's seat and taking the controls. On the upside, it's far more engaging, on the downside, it's a much more active commitment to the cause.
The sad thing is that I don't have any easy answers. I wasn't raised with the killer sports upbringing that keeps me in the company softball leagues, or being the life long runner type. So I have no natural incentive to keep going with it. Not that I'll stop because I like the results. But I'll tell you, when I hit the wall and still have another mile and a half to run, it can be pretty tough getting through.
Posted by jherr at March 18, 2007 09:13 PMThanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)
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