The New Road

Malibu #4

Ok, one last thing about Malibu. You may have read the last post and read about the dude who couldn't work the gears on his bike and wonder, "Why did Jack have to catch up to that guy? He shouldn't have blown past him way before!" Ah, my friend, you are the astute reader. Well, as it turns out, honesty is not always the best policy. Specifically when it comes to registering for this particular triathlon.

There was a question on the form, "Are you over 200 pounds?" Yes, I am. I weight 205 thank you very much. I worked damn hard to get here. Most of that is muscle. 6'2" well muscled guys weigh over 200. But what they really wanted to ask is, "Are you fat? Because we think fat people should go at the end of the pack." But they couldn't ask that. So they asked this seemingly innocuous question instead, which I answered honestly, and they put me at the back of the mens pack, 15 minutes behind where I should have gone. And that's why I ended up having to catch guys who didn't know how to work the gears on their bikes.

Honestly, it was kinda fun being at the back of the pack. The guys back there were cool and light hearted. There was a seven foot tall British dude next to me that I joked around with. He was a twig, but a seven foot twig is going to be over 200 pounds.

What they should do is say something like this. "Do you want to be placed at the end of the pack? There are lots of people in this race. If this is your first triathlon. Or if you have health issues that will keep you from running the race in less than 2 hours, we recommend that you select this option."

I won't be doing this one again, so it's not a big deal to me. But really it's the women who I really feel for the way they have this race set up. They go after the men altogether. Except for the elites or celebrities who go first. They have to crawl through all of the men to get to the front. They should go men, women, men, women, men, women, or vice versa. Either way, young women should go early, just like young men do.

Update: Thinking on this some more, the registration form should read like this:

You aren't going to win. Nobody using this form will win the Nautical Malibu Triathlon 2007. One of the elite athletes will win this race. You are not among them. We invite them. We give them the first spot. We give them the best location in transition. They don't pay to do this race. Because of the way we structure the race you will give them at least a ten minute head start, which is completely insurmountable. The race will be won as early as half way through your bike. You will not win the Nautical Malibu Triathlon 2007. That being said, you may do well. And with that in mind, fill in this form.