Mark your calendars, May 21st, 2011 is the day of the rapture when all of the good kids will depart in a split second and live all of use to live in hell on Earth. Or, so says, Harold Camping. How did I find this out you ask? A lowly atheist like myself should not be privileged to such arcana! Well, I have a tendency to surf the AM dial when I'm tooling around in the evenings and sometimes I stumble on Mr. Campings unique voice (6.2MB MP3).
It's that combination of peanut butter on the roof of the mouth baritone and insane whacko religious insanity that grabs me every single time.
If you don't want to listen to the audio Harold talks about some of his reasoning, if you can call it that, as to why the rapture will occur on May 21st, 2011. After that we will get five months of hell fire and then the universe will vanish, this planet along with it.
I only heard this small fragment when I was in the car, but to snag it off the Interwebs I had to listen to a while hour and a half of that beautiful monotone baritone. He really only talks about the rapture, over and over again, and what absolute destruction means. The definition of destruction seems really important to him.
Of course this is all brought to us by family radio. Because, of course, it's not real family unless it's batshit crazy Christian. What kind of fucked up family would let their kids listen to this anyway? Speaking of which, Harold has sage advice on parenting. First, don't have kids because they won't live long enough before the rapture. And second, don't worry about college funds for your kids, because they'll be raptured before they can make use of that silly sekular edukation anyhow.
BTW, as I was searching around the Interwebs for more about this May 21st, 2011 date I found that Harold has been talking this up for decades. But it was 1994 the last time. Apparently after the last date lapsed the bible revealed itself in new ways to Camping who subsequently bumped the date out by 17 years. Good luck this next time Harold!
A long while back we had a Christian/Atheist flame war in the comments and I talked about this whole rapture thing and the response I got was, "Nobody talks about that" or "It's just the nuts". Dunno. It's the only thing I hear about when I flip the radio onto the Christian AM stations. Rapture. Rapture. Rapture. Life if so bad here the true believers can't wait to get home.
As for me, I can always convert to Catholic the day before then convert back the day after.
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