March 13, 2009

We Surround Them

Glenn Beck thinks he has us surrounded and wants his followers to out themselves sometime soon. Not today. But real soon now.

Apparently if you agree with 7 out of the 9 following statements you are a Glenn Beck follower. Let's give it a try.

1. America is good.

Yep. The idea that lefties believe America is inherently evil is a straw man created by the looney right.

2. I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life.

Ok, good for you. It's not what I believe in however. And we shouldn't have government going around funding religion like we did with Bush.

3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday.

I'm there with you, but I don't see that at all in what you do, Mr. Beck. Your a batshit crazy lunatic who has zero capability to self-reflect and thus speak complete garbage one day and has no memory of it the next.

4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government.

I certainly get the intent and in most cases I agree. But what if you and your wife are child abusers?

5. If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.

I completely agree here, which is why I still don't understand why we aren't prosecuting the Bush administration. Come on! We found out yesterday that Cheney had a hit squad run out of the west wing. Shouldn't we prosecute that?

6. I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results.


7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.

I agree. But roads, bridges, schools, police, and firemen are not charity.

8. It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion.

Hah! I love it. This is treason at a time of war when lefties did it when Bush was in power. But now it's free speech to be defended. Good for you Mr. Beck. Glad you see it our way this week. Let's see how you play it the next time the righties are in power.

9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.

I agree that they work for me. That being said, if you rape, kill or abuse someone you sure as shit are going to answer for it. See #5.

The statements are so broad that it's easy enough to partially agree with most of them. So I'm probably good for 7 out 9. I guess I'm a Beck-head. Or whatever the hell they call themselves.

I'm not a Beck-head though, so let me add a few more from my observations of the looney right to maybe hone it in a little further:

10. I'm a batshit crazy armageddon freak who wants secession now that Obama is in office.

11. I have the right to live without medical insurance, but if I am then in a car accident while uninsured I expect to be saved at any expense and have that cost written off.

12. I believe in the government intruding into family decision making (e.g. Terri Schiavo).

13. I don't think the military is part of the government, so unlimited spending on military hardware is a-ok.

14. I believe in me-myself alone. Everything I have is mine. I share it with nobody. The roads are mine, the bridges are mine, the police and firemen serve me alone. And I shouldn't have to pay a dime for any of it. The world revolves around me.

15. I believe that Christians are a down-trodden minority in this country even though they make up 80% of the population.

16. I believe the Bush years were an unheralded success story just waiting to be written and the bad economy is Obama's fault even though he has only been in office for a month.

And on and on, you get the point.

Posted by jherr at March 13, 2009 5:42 AM
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