Its been so hard loosing Ripley. Harder than I imagined it would be, mainly because I was so unprepared for it. No warning, she just went down hill so fast. No time to accept that it was happening. Even while she was dying I still expected her to get up and leave the room with us. Now a couple of weeks later, I look for her and expect to find her. On the sofa sunday night while we were watching "Sopranos", I left room for her by Mel and sat on one of the side chairs, until I realized she wasn't there and I could moved to the more comfortable sofa.

Even though her ashes are on the mantel and I haven't heard the click click click of her paws in the hall, I still felt like she's going to be coming home soon, like she just out digging up mole holes.

Last night Jack was out and I went to bed alone in bed for the first time since Face died, and Sadie refused to cuddle for more than her usual 2 mins while hyperventilating, and t just really hit me that Silly Face is gone. Anyone who has suffered a loss knows what we are going through, you start to forget they are gone and the remember and then feel the loss fresh again.

After my mom died I kept picking up the phone to call her and tell her some little thing, and then I'd realize, sometime when dad would answer and sometimes before I even dialed the number. It's hard accepting those we love are gone. But we're better for having known and love them.