How is it that its been 8 years since you left us? I feel as though it was only a few days ago, and yet I can't seem to remember your voice. Your words are easy, I have cards hidden all over my house with your words, and your hands - i have your hands complete with the little patch of 4 dark hairs above my wrist, even your smell I can conjure - a cross between Shalimar and Hallmark.. . But oh how I wished i'd thought to record your voice.

I think what makes your death still so hard now is that I grieve that you have missed out on all those wonderful grand kids. Megan is really the joy of my life, and every milestone I have wanted to share with you.

This time of year I always think of you more and more, not because this is the time you died, but because you always made the holidays so special, When I think about my childhood, most memories that come to the front are of various Christmases with us all around the tree, me passing out the gifts - a whole days spent sharing. It was so magical. You always made it so.

Now I get to bring that Magic to my own daughter, and I look back and use your example for guidance. Though I won't be wasting precious stocking space with fruit from the fruit bowl!

Mom, I miss you and I wish so often that you were just a phone call away - That I could call and tell you the latest funny from Megan, or get your advice on some mysterious medical ailment.

This picture, though of I time I don't remember, reminds me how much you loved life. Also I feel how much love you had for us all, and how special you made me feel. I had fun with you, scouting malls to find the real Santa, playing games - you were always up for a game. (Mom I have a daughter who loves games as well!), going to Disney. How many wonderful private moments we shared.

Its gotten easier, being with out you. Megan is so much life, so much excitement and smiles. She is the reason I know you loved us all so much.

I love you too Mom. More than words can say.
Lori