As most of you probably know, Jack and I have been trying to have another baby. We've had no luck so far, and when my period started yesterday I felt so depressed, and incredibly sorry for myself. Last night when Jack came home from work I was in a foul mood and unfortunately I took it out on him. The ups and downs of trying to get pregnant are draining and brutal.
Of course, perspective came not once but twice today. First when Jack told me about Dear Elena the blog of a man Jack met through his work, that just lost his 6 year old daughter. Its amazingly brave for him to share what he is going though with the blog world.
Then this morning I found out that a friend, who was pregnant with twins has lost them both. As I drove myself to the doctor today to discuss options, and get prescriptions for all the hormones so we could begin the process again, I couldn't help but think about how very lucky I am, that I have Megan and Jack, and that it's all so precious. I need to hold on tight to what I have and accept that I may never have more, but that's ok, because what I already have is wonderful.
The storm of the season is upon us. Wind blowing strong, lots of rain. Kind of makes me want to just stay home, which for the most part we will, though we're running out of milk so a trip to the grocery store will have to happen.
All these weather fluctuations, have meant the dogs don't know whether to shed or not- and both have decided to shed and grown new hair. Which means i've been vacuuming almost every day. Thank goodness I still love my dyson ;)
Jack and I braved the weather last night to have dinner and a movie out. Had we not already booked the sitter, I would have opted for staying home and having a fire in the fireplace. We tried a new mexican restaurant called Blue Agavethat has taken over a nice little treasure in Fremont called Pearls. We've taken many guests to the original spot including Mel, Mom and Carlos on their last visit. Jack even had the original restaurant cater my 30th birthday party. And as we ate last night we reminisced about at least 2 anniversaries we've spent there.
The have worked hard to keep some of Pearls flavor. And the food was delicious, though very pricey for Mexican. Its authentic and not tex-Mex, which is a nice change and reminded us of Mexicali Rose in Australia and Peppers Mexicali Cafe in Pacific Grove, California (no website found). We'll probably go back for special occasions but at 50 bucks a head easy - we won't go often.
After dinner we we to an older theater, with small seats and no stadium seating, and saw Eight Below. I enjoyed the movie, and I cried but I was annoyed that the dogs were put in that position anyway - I know they are working dogs, but still sleeping outside! - when Oso sleeps on my bed (under the covers!) and tied up as their humans fly away! Jack said it was probably so they wouldn't run after the plane or get on the runway - but still! All in all a good movie - deserving of the Fresh rating its getting on Rotten Tomatoes. But dog lovers beware (especially if you've lost a close friend) - you will cry - there is no way to see it and not.
I got a junk email this morning from a "Lloyd Bayon" I actually took a second look cause it reminded me of my favorite teacher, probably the one who first sparked my interest in history - Lloyd Ballard, at Glades Junior High.
Well it prompted me to do a google search for him, and he is now teaching at Miami High, and was interviewed on News Hour back in 03. It was great to get to see him on the video feed. He really had a passion for teaching that not only inspired me to study history, but tempted me to think about maybe teaching someday. He was definitely a favorite teacher of mine from all of school and my favorite from Glades. Thank you Mr Ballard!
When my mom was sick, while having different things done to her, she would hold my hand. That was when I first started to hate my wedding band. Jack and I had picked our bands out of a guys garage in Miami, actually he was a retired jeweler who still had alittle inventory to move. We got great deals on 2 bands, Jack's was convex and mine was concave. I figured it was neat that mine fit in his, even though they didn't match.
Well cut to years later and i've repeatedly had cuts on my hands from the ring, but it wasn't until Mom was sick, and said to me - why do you keep waring a ring that causes pain - and that made me want a new ring.
I've tried different rings over time, but nothing really felt right so i'd end up back with the concave one. So I recently just started going with out - but this bugged me too. Well today I went to Macy's 50% off jewelry sale and bought my self a beautiful solid gold band. nothing fancy, but not painful either. and so now I feel married again (ok not really - a ring doesn't make the marriage - but it sure helps).
Did you happen to catch today's Oprah. First off i don't usually watch it, but she had my man Anderson Cooper on as I was surfing and so I stopped to see what was up. Well it was a whole show from Louisiana and Mississippi. The had a woman on who is still using a bucket as a toilet, and living with out a roof next to an open sewer and FEMA is telling her we'll get you a trailer soon - this is 6 months later and we are the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. How can we even think to tell the rest of the world how to live if we can't even take care of our own? How is it that we as a nation aren't stepping up. Its embarrassing that the rest of the world sees us as the most powerful nation and we have this large area that is living in 3rd world conditions - a full 6 MONTHS AFTER KATRINA! Just another major failure of our current administration. Instead of fixing the problems... they are just placing blame.
Anyway - Oprah repeats here usually in the late night hours, so if you can record it. and watch it later. - oh Just saw on CNN that they are going to rebroadcast parts of it.
that's right a month after my last bad bug, i'm sick again - stuffy nose, achy. So far thankfully Megan and Jack are fine. Megan is off to school today and i'm taking it easy in front of the olympics hockey game.
Let me just give you the highlights. Saturday we went to the zoo. Its the first time Jack and I both went with Megan - usually its one or the other of us. Because Jack was there I gave the sky ride a try - I'm a bit of a wuss when it comes to fast or high rides. We ended up in 2 different seats- Jack ahead of me and Megan. She loved it and that helped calm my nerves - till we flew over the lions and I swear at least one licked there chops!
After a quick lunch, we headed over to the little ride park, and Megan and Jack rode the roller coaster twice - Megan with arms up loving it both times. We froze on the train, but enjoyed the views of the bay.
Once home we entertained Pam, Yvonne and Josephine. The girls played hard, and we adults enjoyed the conversation. We all cooked a big dinner, and hung out after while the girls painted, watching Olympics. After they left and Megan went to bed we enjoyed more olympics and the fire in the fireplace.
This morning Jack and Megan got going and went and got bagels, while I stayed in bed! Then they headed out to a movie while I did some chores around the house and watched Alien Vs Predator. After Megan had a nap, we all headed out to our local mini-golf course where Megan got her first taste of putt putt - she loved it!.
UPDATE: Didn't realize the weekend wasn't over. Jack got up and went to work, Megan and I got up and had breakfast, I exercised, while she watch "Elmo". Then Jack came home cause he didn't actually have work today and we drove into the city to goto the Steinhart Aquarium. It was very crowded but fun to get out and after a quick lunch we went to the carousal at the zeum across from the Metreon, and headed home.
Listening to NPR today on the way to Target and had to wait in the car to finish listening to this story. Charmaine Neville, a jazz singer and sister to the Neville brothers was in the 9th ward during Katrina and this interview is gripping. What they endured - and in the United States the most powerful nation in the world is unimaginable.
I can't believe he said that. Bush our moronic leader is now trying to convince America that Saddam choose for us to invade them. Today in Tampa he actually said And so when Saddam Hussein chose war
In my recent quest to get healthier I decided to give up soda - its been a couple of weeks and I'm doing fine with it. ... now I have a new reason to be glad I don't get soda's from a drive through any more.
UPDATE: OK my link doesn't work - go to CNN and watch the story on toilet water vs ice.
Winter is back. We're supposed to have snow fall at 1500 feet which is the hills around us. Megan bundled up in the car on the way to school, kept telling me how cold she was.
I just heard a weather report that said keep your eyes out for snow fall at sea level, though it should melt immediately. Is that possible :)
We'll probably drive up to Mt Diablo or Mr Tam this sunday and Let Megan see and experience the snow.
I'm a sucker for pretty much all holidays, and Valentines is no exception. It started yesterday when Megan and I first made lollipops and then decorated valentines. I enjoyed hanging out today with Megan's school, and seeing all the kids decorate for valentines. Then we picked up Jack and had lunch before heading over to the mall for alittle shopping. Megan got her feet measured and though she's grown in inches (the kids is very tall) her feet are still the same size.
We ended out Bounce Oh Rama, where Megan enjoyed bouncing while, I listened to my ipod and as I watched her. I've gotten into a couple of podcasts, and they certainly helped fill the boredom of hanging out and watching a kid bounce. I have in the past joined her, but forgot socks today so my bouncing was out.
We got home and I exercised while Megan watched a movie. Then we swapped gifts and Megan gave Daddy a card she made, Jack gave me a beautiful arrangement of plants, and I gave him some combat fatigue shorts (inside joke).
What else made this valentines so special is that I've been swapping valentines with with my sistas (oh and one bloke in Japan). Its been a hoot getting valentines from all over the US, Canada and Japan too!
I did my time in Megan's class room today. Megan was awesome and it was wonderful to see her interacting and with the other kids and learning.
Of the seven kids in Megan's class i'd say only one is really a spoiled brat. The rest played well together and really seemed to enjoy each others company. But one little girl is more than just a handful. She was down right rude to her fellow school mates and her teachers. She did what ever she wanted and didn't listen to any instruction. i was absolutely flabbergasted at how poorly this one child behaves compared to the other kids. I definitely think its how she's being raised at home. Her mother has repeatedly told me stories of how the child demands her own way and how they give in. I just didn't believe that such parenting would create such a monster.
Tomorrow, i've been called on to help out in Megan's class, because one of the teachers has to goto a funeral. I'm looking forward to it, but I will miss my 3 hours to myself. Megan said that my going to school with her tomorrow was a "good idea".
It should be an easy morning since its also the valentines party and other mom's will be arriving early to help set up for that.
I got it into my head to make lollipops with Megan today so she could give them out to her class mates. Last week I bought the forms, and sticks, and all the ingredients, for a cherry lollipop recipe I found on line. I realized after burning my own fingers, that a 3 year old shouldn't be around boiling sugar, so I let her watch from afar. I got the stuff in the molds with sticks and now its all cooling.
I have to say though - not as gratifying to make as I thought. Cool but really not that cool. I'll update later when I pop the mold and let you know if they came out. It does taste great - drops while filling the molds cooled quickly and allowed me and Megan to try it out.
Well our wonderful weather continued. It was in the 40's this am so I wasn't sure it would, but by the time i dropped Megan off at school I had shed a layer, by the time I got home it was time for shorts. I think that is what inspired me to grill tonight. After dinner we all went for a dip in the jacuzzi. I'm sure we'll cool off again tonight, but so far its slow going and a comfy 69 in the house with all the windows opened.
Tomorrow we're probably going to hit the zoo with playgroup.
I'm in Shorts - its February and I'm not only wearing shorts but I let Megan play in a outdoor water play area today at the Hub shopping mall. I have windows open. Since we moved here we have had wet cold Februaries. But today and yesterday and the day before have just been perfect. More Perfect than our summer because everything is still green, so its warm and sunny and green. I hope it lasts but The Weather Channel says we should be getting rain back next week.d
The democrats are so sure they are going to win this november thanks in large part to the illegal wire tapping, and the war that will not end. Now they have Bush's budget to jump on since basically he is stealing from the poor to feed his war machine.
But I wonder if remember how easily elections get stolen in this country. And how people seem to forget all the bad and vote on one issue. I'm not believing anything until after the votes are counted and rechecked.
Its been a month since we got the elliptical trainer. Except for the period in the middle that I was sick, I've been using it for 20 minutes 3 days on and 1 day off. I've changed it up a bit and am now doing 2 days on 1 day off, cause that 3rd day was a killer. But overall I'm feeling incredible. I absolutely loath the whole exercise thing, but I appreciate the need for it. It also helps that GH has resurrected Robert Scorpio. It really gives me something to sink my mind into while i'm working up a sweat.
I wanted to get healthier for myself and for Megan and Jack. And the walk from the garage to the shower is really one i've never felt before, the sense of accomplishment is wonderful. The when Megan and I started dancing to ABBA I didn't have to stop after one song.. .we just kept going, me holding her and both of us dancing and laughing. It felt wonderful.
Friday Megan and I enjoyed some time with our playgroup, which included lunch in one of those salad bar restaurants - not my favorite but alot of fun none the less. It was a nice quiet night friday night - Jack and I were alone for Sci-fi Friday.
Saturday Jack went off and played golf, and Megan and I tooled around the house. I got in a workout in and then we headed up to the craft store to buy some bird houses. We went next door to the pet store to buy some more bird seed, and then after a quick lunch out we headed home and decorated our bird houses. It was a 2 day project since i had to varnish them after they had dried, with several coats.
Saturday night was a blast. We went to a party at a friends house, they had sitter's upstairs for all the kids, and lots of kabob's and libations. We also got to enjoy some live bluegrass music. I had entirely too much to drink and it was wonderfully fun. We got home at 10 and we all went to bed.
Sunday Jack and Megan headed out for the weekly trip to the get bagels, while I hung out in my pj's watching cbs sunday morning, drinking coffee (and waiting for the Tylenol to take the hang over away). Nice chat with dad followed. Then we spent the morning taking the crib down and out of Megan's room so she'd have room for the train table. We headed out after and went to a japanese garden in Hayward to the north walking around, exploring all the pagodas, and counting all the big fish in the pond. It had alot of memorial plaques since the park is pretty old, it was interesting and touching to read them as we wondered around., We then went to Kennedy Park (also in hayward) for Megan's first pony ride, and also the petting zoo, train ride, bounce house, and Merry-go-round. Megan had wonderful time (pictures of course to follow).
Home for a quiet afternoon, and then Jack and I headed out on a date, we tried a new yummy restaurant in Oakland and then went to a theater in Berkeley to see Transamerica A pretty good flick, very uncomfortable to watch at times, but Felicity Huffman was really good, and i see why she's been nominated and won for several awards. Home by 10 where I goto to watch the first half of my tivo'd "Grey's anatomy" thanks to the *&^$^% super-bowl, tivo didn't get it all - Please ABC play it again!
When ever we go out for Sushi, Megan eats rice, miso and edamame. She has since she was little and loves to go to Sushi. This past week we met Daddy for lunch at our favorite Sushi Harbor, and they were late with the edamame, so she had 2 bowls of Miso and some rice. On the way out we had the edamame in hand. On the way to the car Megan dropped the box and they spilled out, so Jack and i picked them up and threw them out while she was protesting that she wanted them. Next day lunch I boiled her some more and presented them with sandwich. She wouldn't touch them. I reminded her that she was upset when she lost the ones from the restaurant and she just looked at me and shook her head.
Today I put them out again with our sandwiches and when I grabbed one to eat when she wouldn't, I also popped a soy bean on her plate. She gobbled it up and asked for more. I shelled a few dozen more before I realized i was being trained. But hey at least she was eating a green vegetable.