Once again, i witnessed tragedy. This time though I was there just after, but I saw them load an unconscience woman onto an ambulance as I sat at the near by light. I saw that there were several other people being attended to by paramedics. The SUV was wrapped around the tree. I headed on to my appointment and didn't think much of it accept to be grateful it wasn't me. When I came back by the Firetrucks and ambulances were gone but the police were there and they were photographing everything, and taking measurements. I knew if my gut someone had died. Oh how I wish I was wrong.
I received a phone call yesterday from the brother of the woman I saw last week on the bridge. He found my blog probably because of google. It was such a touching message on our answering machine. He very carefully said nothing which I am grateful for - Megan being in the room when I pressed play.
I still don't even know her name and yet I feel more at peace with the tragedy. Somehow, even though I know what I witnessed, I've had moments of just doubt - how could I have seen what I saw. Moments this past week were I felt like I had made the whole thing up and so I would concentrate on the details, and then all the emotion would come flooding back. While his message to me made it all real again, it also reassured me.
Anyway - Thank you her dear brother for your call, for reaching out to me a total stranger. You were able to look past your own pain and you saw mine. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss - and for the pain your family is going through. My thoughts are with you all.
I've been trying to let the event of monday be in the past and have tried not to let it overwhelm me. I've been keeping very busy at the school, ever grateful that I have a place I can throw my energies. When I am alone and its quiet = that's when it all creeps back. I'm glad for the weekend - I hope to have lots of fun with my family. We are watching a friends daughter saturday night - and have two girls running around and playing will be so good for reaffirming life.
Next week I have a field trip with the library assistants to look forward to - we are going to the Asian Art Museum in San Francisco. And then friday is Gallery Night - oh what fun that shall be. Our little art program is really so successful. I enjoy it so thoroughly. Just this past tuesday I helped a friend teach in one of the special Ed classes. It was very rewarding.
UPDATE: More News coverage but still no ID
Driving home over the dumbarton bridge today after lunch I saw a woman commit suicide. She was wearing a black dress, hat and shoes and she was so young and beautiful, and before 911 answered my call she jumped. Its already made the local news. The 911 operator did confirm to me that she had jumped, and I had to pull over again and have a cry.
I drove the rest of the way home in tears and texted Jack once I got home. I had 30 minutes to pick up Megan and couldn't stop crying. But talking to him helped. Some cold water and sunglasses and I managed to smile as I approached the other moms to pick up our kids. I gave Megan a big hug and we came home and played candy land, she read me smelly bear, and we watched some Little People Big World, but I am on the verge of tears if I just think about her - just for a second. I would hate her for ruining my day if I didn't feel so sorry for her for thinking there was no hope. I just can't imagine ever feeling such disappear. My heart goes out to her family. And I'm grateful for mine and all my friends who showed me support today on facebook.
or in this case Mattel.
Megan was sluggish in the mornings in the beginning of the school year. To solve the problem I taped a piece of paper on the door and told her each time I didn't have to remind her to hurry up and do everything and we made it to school with time to spare (at least 5 minutes before the bell) then I would give her a star on the paper - 50 stars equaled a Barbie (or toy) of her choice. At the time she really wanted this fancy Barbie that was 29 dollars so I told her the price limit was 30 dollars.
Well yesterday she finally reached 50! and so today we went to Target and she scrutinized and analyzed toys in every aisle. She started in Barbies, went to Polly Pockets, fancy toys, Star Wars, and finally Legos. She decided on a Barbie house that was on sale for $29.99- basically a front door and a couple of walls with a few items of furniture and some little accessories. No actual doll but she has several Barbies so those weren't necessary. Anyway We get home and start opening it up and thankfully its mostly put together, and there are no cursed twist ties etc to contend with. But then I notice all the picture frames, flower pots wall fixtures are bare and there are 2 pages of stickers number so as to alert me to where to put the darn things - I just spent the better part of an hour putting stickers on - and this is not my strong suit. I'm more of a creative placement type of gal.
But Megan is happy and playing - so its all good.
We've completely booked our trip to Arizona for June and I just heard on the news that the last 5 days have been over 100. Glad both hotels have pools!
Still it should be a great trip. We have 4 nights in Sedona and 3 at the Grand Canyon.